Monday, June 18, 2007

Why I don't wear my wedding ring

Whenever I’m in Manila people would often notice that I don’t wear my wedding ring and they would ask why. It bothers me sometimes that I have to explain why I don’t and why I only wear my engagement ring.

It’s a personal choice. For me, the engagement ring is more symbolic of P’s commitment to be my lifelong partner and wearing it is my way of showing him how much I appreciate his love and dedication. I know that he spent a great deal of time and effort in planning the most memorable proposal and to make sure that he slipped the best diamond ring (he could afford) on my finger when he asked me to marry him. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not about the diamond. It’s about him deliberately thinking of my happiness and providing the best he could afford. Again, it’s not about the money but the gesture. It also signified that all the years of saving and long distance phone calls finally paid off. We were ready to have a family of our own.

Now, I don’t wear my wedding ring because P is not comfortable wearing his. If he doesn’t wear his band then there is no point in wearing mine. Back while we were shopping for our wedding bands, he already expressed apprehension about wearing a ring (or any piece of jewelry for that matter). He said would rather have a tattoo saying he is married than wear jewelry. As a final attempt, we bought a pair of very expensive platinum bands thinking that it would encourage him to wear his ring all the time. He did wear his ring for the first few weeks but eventually it found its permanent spot in our safe. At least he tried. I don’t mind that he doesn’t wear his ring. It’s perfectly fine with me. Not wearing our bands doesn’t mean we love each other less or that we are less committed to each other. In fact, i find it liberating that we don't wear our bands. Somehow, in my mind, it eliminates the expectations and pressures of being married. The same way some couples choose not to tie the knot and just live-in. Don't get me wrong, i have nothing against couples who wear their bands. It's just my personal choice not to.

On a lighter note, I heard these days a lot of single women are more attracted to men with wedding bands. They find married men to be more mature, experienced and financially stable. Plus it’s convenient because they can have a relationship with no strings attached. That said I’m glad P doesn’t wear his wedding band.

1 comment:

Christina said...

...And I don't wear my wedding ring and my engagement ring because they don't fit me (postnatal water retention still hasnt gone away!!hay).

This is very touching and very true. We don't need material symbols to remind us of who we are or who need to be.

Stay happy, my friend!


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